Maintaining friendships after marriage
Marriage and friends, can you really get away with having both?
If you recently got married, congratulations.
The hard part starts now.
After you get married, your life changes.
Not only that but some of your current relationship changes after marriage as well.
If you and your spouse were in a long-term relationship prior to getting married, you may find that even that relationship may change after marriage.
It may not transform drastically (especially if you both live together already), but it will change.
You will find that you are not only a strong individual but a part of a strong union as well.
As your life moves into this new stage of your life, it will get chaotic and a bit difficult to juggle your married life, your professional life, and the rest of your personal life as well.
This will be something that you have to get used to and something that will differ with each person.
I know many of my friends, including myself and my spouse, were truly struggling with the whole idea of marriage and friends.
So many questions were left unanswered.
A few that stood out were:
How do you balance friendship and marriage?
Do married couples need friends?
What is the importance of friendship in a marriage?
How much time should married couples spend with friends?
You may currently have some of the best people in the world as your friends.
But naturally, we tend to prioritize the relationship we are in as we see this person daily.
And it’s even more important to put energy into a new marriage if you want it to last.
Remember, your friends are just as important and can even help your marriage.
If you want to ensure that you have long-lasting relationships with your partner, your friends and even colleagues, you need to work on nurturing these relationships.
Grab this Marriage and Life Printable designed to help balance things out with your relationships.
Here is your guide to meaningful friendships after marriage
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Friendship and Marriage
I can tell you for a fact that when my husband and I got married, I almost felt like we were no longer hanging out with other friends.
It was mainly because we started having kids and many of our friends were not at that stage yet.
And when you get married, your relationship with your significant other becomes your primary relationship as you might rely on them for emotional support, financial support and security.
But two years in, most of my friends started having kids and we felt like we could hang out again.
This was because we found common grounds again.
We could plan activities that involved little kids.
At the end of the day, you can not spend every moment with your significant other.
You need time to miss each other.
Whether that means working from the office, meeting a friend for coffee, a movie or going to the gym, you have to have friends.
Friends are also a great support system.
Relying on your partner 100% of the time is not healthy.
It is important to have healthy relationship goals in order to strive as a couple.
Finding the perfect balance is a tough one to achieve!
Let me also just say that losing friends after marriage is normal.
As priorities shift and change so do the people around us.
If you want to keep your friends you need to read this post.
Maintaining friendships after a marriage has just become easier with our guide.
Healthy Marriage Boundaries With Friends
How do you do it? How do you balance all of these important parts of your life?
Honestly, the hardest struggle with all of this will be balancing your married life and the rest of your personal life (including time with your friends).
You can’t neglect your friends because as you get older, they will be one of the constants in your life.
Having friends outside your marriage is not only important but extremely healthy!
You need to have healthy interactions with people other than your spouse.
They will be a great support in a lot of your endeavours as well as a comfort when you and your husband are having issues.
I believe you can set some healthy marriage boundaries with friends and I will show you how below.
1. Respect My Priorities!
Your life has changed; there is someone in your life who expects to be the number one priority in your life.
Take a moment to assess the priorities in your life.
- Where do your friends fall on that list?
- Where is your new husband?
- What about the rest of your family?
- How about your professional life and work?
Be sure to also take into account “personal improvement.”
You should make time to improve upon yourself and have some time to wind down, relax, and reflect.
These are just as important as everything else in your life because if you don’t make time for yourself, you won’t be in good shape to take care of the rest of the things in your life.
2. Promises, Promises, Promises
One of the biggest reasons for friend fallout after you get married is breaking promises with your friends.
Yes, your husband and family should come first but remember that your friends are a part of that circle too.
They are your family – or at least they should be treated as such.
Make sure that you aren’t breaking the promises that you’ve made to your friends.
Have you promised to meet them for lunch? Write it down on your schedule and don’t double-book.
If you’ve already broken a promise with them, don’t do it again.
Two broken promises in a row are just bad juju.
It is a way of telling them that they aren’t important – even if that’s not what you intend.
3. Break Old Habits & Make New Ones
Before you were married you had an old set of habits.
Those are long in the past.
Partying with your friends all night long and coming home in the wee hours of the morning probably won’t be your normal Saturday night routine anymore.
Ah, those days.
I can barely keep my eyes open past 10 pm these days.
Make sure that your new habits involve both your husband and other people that are important to you.
I’m not saying that you have to trade in your convertible for a mini-van (in my case, I am pretty sure I have to with kids now).
But you do have to realize how your relationships have changed.
Try to plan a girls’ night once a month.
Get together with your friends every Friday to catch up on what’s been happening the last week.
Read my tips on ⇒ How to entertain your friends on a budget and save money!
3. Open Line of Communication
Make sure that you talk to your husband about how important it is that you both keep in touch with your friends.
This shouldn’t even be a question.
Keeping that individuality (your sense of self) is important in a relationship and this is one of the ways that you do that.
Your friends helped mould who you are and who your husband fell in love with.
Although it’s very normal to have a big group of “couple friends,” it’s also really important for both partners’ to also maintain friendships of their own outside of the marriage.
It’s absolutely important to keep up with and develop new friendships constantly.
Your relationship outside marriage will allow you to have someone else to confide in outside of your significant other in a healthy way.
And I am talking strictly platonic.
4. New Besties
Maintaining a friendship can be difficult.
I have been there.
But how about making new friends?
Did this ever cross your mind?
Stay open-minded and be open to making new friends as well.
Your single friends may not always want to hang out with you and your husband.
They might want to go out and hit the bar or club.
I can tell you for a fact, that I am not into that lifestyle even though I am in my early 30s.
5. Don’t be afraid of making new friends with your husband
Join some meetup groups on MeetUp.com.
There, you will be able to find new friends that have things in common with the both of you – as a couple.
That way, you can have your girls’ nights once a month (or once a week) and have a “date night” with your husband and your new “couple friends”.
You can also check out these amazing apps for making new friends.
You never know who you might meet.
6. Behold the Power of Social Media
Maintaining a friendship using social media is just as powerful.
The great part about Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Tumblr is that you can still keep in touch with your friends, even if you can’t see them as often as you used to.
That being said, nothing can make up for seeing each other face to face once in a while.
At the minimum, you should at least have one girls’ night a month so that you don’t actually lose those friendships.
This will ensure that you don’t drift apart.
7. Don’t Skip Out Major Events
Birthdays, graduations, and other celebratory events are mandatory.
You may be tired.
You may have worked six days this week and this may be your only day off but this will also be her only birthday this year.
This will be the only time that she graduates with her Master’s degree.
You need to make it to these events to show your support because that’s what friends do.
Don’t forget your friendly duties.
8. Random Texts of Appreciation
Just like you love random texts from your husband, you should be sending texts to your friends.
A simple, “Hey! Miss you!” is good enough to let them know that you still think about them, despite your hectic schedule.
Remember to ask them about their lives and don’t just blab about what’s going on in yours.
Keeping a simple line of communication like this is a great way to maintain friendships.
A few more text messages of appreciation to send to friends:
- You’re my best friend.
- You’re the best friend a person could ever have.
- I will always treasure your thoughtfulness and friendship.
- I can never repay the gift of your friendship.
- You have made my life so much more beautiful with your friendship.
9. Mom! You’re Ruining My Life!
Sometimes things just happen.
Friends move away.
Coworkers get better job offers elsewhere.
Friends will drift apart.
If you find that you’re suddenly all alone in town, you may need to take some extra measures.
Plan a yearly reunion.
Get in touch with your college friends (Facebook is great for that) and plan a yearly trip to the old campus, the bar that you used to hang out at, or some other central location.
Reminisce about old times and remember to create new memories too.
Remembering the good times is important but it is more important to build on those and create new memories with old friends.
And there you go, everything you need to know about marriage and friends!
Did we leave anything out?
Do you have any more suggestions and import about marriage and friends on how to keep it together?
We would love to hear from you.
Don’t forget to grab this Marriage and Life Printable designed to help balance things out with your relationships.
Read this next ⇓:
- 50 Positive Love Affirmations For Couples
- 50 Romantic Questions To Ask Your Spouse
- Fun Conversation Started For Married Couples