Asking For Money For Your Wedding Politely
Is it okay to ask for money as a wedding gift?
I see this all the time in our Bridal Facebook groups.
Brides are stressed about receiving money as a gift.
Some brides go so far as to say, “We have been together for so long, we don’t need gifts, we want money!”
Is this a tacky trend?
Should we be openly asking people for money as a wedding gift?
Should other people be paying for our weddings or honeymoon?
Let’s talk about it.
As your big day approaches, many couples I know find themselves in a bit of a pickle about wedding gifts.
While traditional gifts like kitchenware and household items are wonderful, some couples prefer monetary gifts to help fund their honeymoon, purchase a home, or even contribute to a future savings plan.
Asking for money in any situation can feel awkward.
So, should you be asking for money as a wedding gift?
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How to Ask For Money For Your Wedding
There are many reasons you may prefer money to gifts for your wedding.
I have seen it in all the Facebook groups.
Either someone is asking how to ask their parents for a contribution to their wedding.
Or someone who is extremely disappointed that none of the parents are contributing, and so they do not know how to afford a wedding.
Then you have some brides saying they don’t want a wedding registry because they don’t need all those things and prefer guests give them money or contribute to their honeymoon.
So, can you ask for money as a wedding gift?
1. Asking parents for wedding money
Let me start by saying no one owes you anything.
This means noone should be paying for your wedding.
As a couple that has chosen to get married, you are responsible for yourselves.
This might mean planning a wedding you can afford.
There are plenty of ways to cut wedding expenses or ways to plan a frugal one.
I would also suggest that you don’t just go out and request money to pay for your wedding.
It’s best if the parent or someone in your life offers to contribute.
This is much more classy.
If you have to ask, we recommend using the right approach so your request is polite and well-received.
You can discuss it together as a couple or individually, but remember: the bride asks her parents, and the groom asks his.
Each party is responsible for asking their side of the family for wedding money.
Consider asking your parents if they would be willing to pay for a portion of the costs or a particular vendor.
Look up wedding vendors within the budget they set for you and give them the pros and cons of your top 3 choices.
They can either pay the vendor directly or pay upfront.
Keep in mind that if you ask parents to pay for your wedding, they might end up controlling the wedding.
They can either gift you the money with no strings attached, or it’s up to you to say yes or no.
Be prepared to set boundaries.
I would set these boundaries right away when asking for wedding money.
And unless the money is in your hand or they are paying the vendor directly, don’t count on it.
2. Start a cash fund
There are plenty of wedding websites out there that will allow you to start a cash fund.
And no, we don’t mean GoFund Me.
Please don’t do that.
A cash fund is the perfect way to ask for money for wedding gifts.
What’s even more fun is that you can name your cash funds into much-needed items.
For example, a honeymoon fund, a down payment fund, a home renovation fund, a baby fund or an investment Fund.
Basically, anything you want.
You can create a cash fund registry on the Knot or Zola!
Share the link on your wedding website.
3. Consider Your Wedding Guests
Before deciding to ask for monetary gifts, consider your guest list.
Think about your attendees’ preferences, cultural backgrounds, and financial situations.
Especially financial situations.
In this day and age, everything is expensive, and just attending a wedding itself could cost hundreds of dollars.
Some guests might prefer giving a physical gift, while others might appreciate the convenience of giving money.
Just being mindful of these factors will help you tailor your request appropriately.
4. Make The Money Request on Your Wedding Website
We absolutely recommend using your wedding website to politely ask for monetary donations.
Your wedding website is an excellent place to include a section about what you need as wedding gifts.
You can politely mention your preference for monetary gifts while also expressing appreciation for any gift your guests choose to give.
Wording Your Request Website Monetary Request:
When wording your request for monetary gifts, the key is to be both gracious and extremely clear.
Luckily, we have a few suggestions for you.
Include a Poem or Rhyme: A light-hearted poem or rhyme can soften the request and make it feel more personal.
For example:
“Your presence at our wedding is the greatest gift of all,
But if you wish to honour us with something more,
A little cash to help us start our life together
Would be warmly received with love and gratitude.”
Add a note, your wedding registry is also a great way to ask for money as a gift.
Something along the lines of, “Your presence at our wedding is a gift in itself. Should you wish to help us further, a monetary gift towards our future would be greatly appreciated.”
Always be polite.
And remember, guests are coming to your wedding to witness your love; they are not there to fund your wedding day or your life.
Be grateful for anything you do get.
Alternative Ways to Ask For Money As Wedding Gifts
- Honeymoon Fund: Set up an online honeymoon fund where guests can contribute to specific experiences or expenses. This can be a fun way for them to feel involved in your post-wedding adventures.
- House Fund: If you’re saving for a home, let guests know that contributions will help you build your dream space together.
- Ask for Gift Cards: Gift cards are considered cash. You can get gift cards to pay for your wedding (for example, if you ask for Amazon cards. You can ask for gift cards to your favourite restaurants for date night, a hardware store to help fix things around the house, and so much more.
And that’s all for ways to ask for wedding money as gifts!
No matter how you choose to ask for money for your wedding, expressing gratitude is essential.
By approaching the topic with grace and thoughtfulness, you can make your wedding guests feel comfortable and respected while still expressing your preferences.
And be thankful for what you do get.
Let your guests know how much you appreciate their support and love.
A heartfelt thank-you note after the wedding, acknowledging their presence and any gifts received, will convey your appreciation and maintain the warmth of your relationship.
Remember, the ultimate goal of your wedding is to celebrate your special day surrounded by those you love.
Read Next:
- Amazon Wedding Registry- Why use it
- DIY Gifts for the Groom
- Gifts for Newly Engaged Bride
- Things you never knew you needed on a wedding registry
- Bridal Shower Wedding Registry Ideas
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